Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
