Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
