Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
