there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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