I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
