dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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