I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
