Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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