Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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