are you still at the devil's house?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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