You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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