R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Randomize
