Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
