i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
