so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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