I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She bit a glass in half.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
