she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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