Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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