you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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