I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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