so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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