You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
