C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Say something about gay babies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize