My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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