Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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