i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
