then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
