May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
time to smoke my breakfast
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My life is pants optional.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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