I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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