I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
