Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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