That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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