yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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