Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
