...so i touched it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
