Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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