No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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