Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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