sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
