You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
