Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
third nipple confirmed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
