I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
