I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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