I looked at my own cervix.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
