So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
