It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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