everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
