It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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