Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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