I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
