At least make sure they are 18
Why
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
