Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
