I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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