I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She bit a glass in half.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
