used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
