lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Say something about gay babies.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
