i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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