weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I could fuck to npr.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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