Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
