I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
