One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I FOUND THE LEGS
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
