i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my shit smells like andre
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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