Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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