her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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