need another drink. this is the easiest way
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
