white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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