you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
