are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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