Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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