found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize